Baby Love

[Addisonsgirl]

When David stormed out of the house, he jumped into the car and sped off with screeching tires. He drove around almost blindly without thinking, until he realized where he was headed: instinctively, he had taken to road to Philly's, Richie's bar. Since it was only 10 am on a Sunday morning, the bar was closed right now, but David knew that his brother was usually there at this hour of the day to check the stock and do the books in peace and quiet. He parked the Beemer by brutally killing the engine, jumped out and went to the backdoor of the bar. He pounded fiercely against the blinded wood, knowing Richie in his office would hear him.

After a few minutes he heard his brother's deep voice protesting inside, and the door was yanked open abruptly. "What the... Dave?" Richie stared at him with wide eyes. "Damn, you look like you've seen a ghost!" He stepped aside, and David entered without a word and stomped past him, heading straight to the public area of the bar. Richie shut and locked the door again and then followed on his heels. "Yo!" he called after him. "What the fuck happened, bro?"

David went behind the bar, still without saying a word, reached for a bottle of brown Cuervo and a glass. Richie crossed his arms and sighed but said nothing; he knew his brother well enough to see when was the right moment to talk to him, and when it wasn't. Obviously, the kid was in desperate need of a drink right now, and it was never a good idea to try and get between a man and his drink. So, he patiently waited until David had poured himself a double shot of Tequila and had downed it in one gulp. He drew a deep breath, poured himself another one, half a glass this time, and drank that one too, a little more slowly. Then he put the glass carefully down on the polished wood and came out from behind the bar, shuffled to one of the stools and slumped down on it.

"Better?" Richie asked dryly.

David pursed his lips and shook his head. "Just a little numb," he replied in a hoarse voice.

Richie sat down on a stool beside his brother. This looked bad. He hadn't seen him so upset in a long time. But he took it as a good sign that David had come here... until recently, just like himself, David had never been the type to try and share his problems. Now, obviously, he was tired of always facing his demons alone. "Shoot," he said. "What's wrong?"

David snorted. "What's right would be the more appropriate question," he replied with biting sarcasm in his voice, "and the answer would be: not much anymore."

The older one shook his head at this cryptic answer. "Okay, I'll take a shot then. You and the blonde had a fight?"

"Not really a fight," David answered with an almost cynical undertone. "More like a massacre."

"Ow!" Richie's face crunched. He knew that his brother and the complicated blonde fought a lot, and passionately too, so this should be nothing new; but something in the kid's voice and demeanor told him that this was probably worse than anything they had experienced so far. "How bad?" he asked.

"How bad?" David shrugged. "Pretty fucking bad. Maybe-we-shouldn't-have-gotten-married-bad." It slammed into him that this was the first time since they had gotten together that a shred of doubt had crept into his mind that maybe it wasn’t gonna work between him and Maddie, but David forced that horrid thought aside as quickly as he could.

Richie blew out his cheeks. "What happened?" he wanted to know.

David pursed his lips in thought, still replaying the awful knock-down-drag-out fight with Maddie in his head; had that happened only little more than half an hour ago? "You know, I don't think I know her anymore," he blurted out after a few seconds. "Or maybe I never really knew her. Or maybe I did, and I just chose to ignore." He shrugged. “I don't know.”

Richie rubbed his face wearily. "Dave," he said in a low voice, "before we get to the analysis of the shitstorm, will you just tell me now what happened?"

David nodded slowly. "Remember the other day, when I told you and dad that we'd soon be trying for bambino number 2?"

Richie nodded. "Yeah, sure!"

"We had agreed on that, around the time of your wedding.” He pointed at Richie. “In fact, it was her suggestion to wait until the Bean reached her first birthday, and then start trying for another baby."

"Okay, and...?" Richie urged.

David shrugged. "Well, this morning she finds the final bill for the party..."

"Uh-oh," Richie interrupted, "let me guess: she wasn't happy."

David snorted with disdain. "No surprise there, right? One word led to another, we argue about that... and then suddenly she throws in my face that she doesn't want another baby – at least not now."

Richie frowned. "Not now?” he echoed. “What does that mean?"

David poured as much sarcasm and acid as possible into his voice. "She thinks we can wait." He emphasized the last word with venom, like he had a disgusting bug in his mouth he wanted to spit out.

Richie raised a questioning eyebrow. "Wait? How long?"

"She said two years maybe." David's tone made it clear what he thought about that suggestion.

"Hm..." Richie swayed his head thoughtfully. "Now there's surely no doubt that Maddie is one hot piece of ass and doesn't show her age..." David shot him a nasty look but said nothing, and he went on: "But the fact remains that... how old is she, 36? 37?" He threw his brother a questioning glance.

"38," David replied grimly.

Richie shook his head. “Sorry, I'm not a doctor, but even at 38 it's not a sure thing for a chick to get preggers. But waiting two years before even start trying?” He cleared his throat, and David's jaw tensed. “Isn't she always all about the common sense? That doesn't sound like common sense to me.”

“That's what I tried to tell her,” David nodded.

“And?” Richie inquired.

“Need you ask?” David snorted sarcastically. “Of course she lashed out at me for calling her old.” Suddenly, he crashed his fist on the bar and made Richie jump. “Damn, I tell ya – that woman is so fucking obsessed with her age when it comes to her vanity, but obviously she doesn’t give a fuck about it when it comes to her biological clock!” He felt the earlier fury well up again.

“Easy, bro,” Richie tried to calm him down, “now I think you're a little...”

“Over the line?” David barked. “Is that what you're trying to say, Rich? Well thanks for nothing! That's what she tells me all the time – she who never lets go of a chance to call me an idiot, a jerk, an asshole, a pea brain, a...” As David sputtered out the names Maddie had called him over the years his anger grew until he felt as if his head might explode.

“Dave...” Richie soothed. “I get it, you're upset.”

“Damn straight I am!”

“And that's fine, really.” he slapped David's back. “But you need to focus, man. Yes, she's not the master of diplomacy, we all know that. But I'm sure you can lash out pretty sharply too.” He shook his head. “I'm sure she's not that vain.”

“That's because you don't see her every morning and every night sitting in front of the mirror,” David snapped, “but I do. She's worrying about her age all the time. She doesn't know that I know it, but I do.” He nodded grimly again. “I've seen her many times looking so worried when examining her damn beautiful face... sometimes it seems like she's looking for flaws on purpose! She counts her wrinkles and fails to see how beautiful she is, how sexy...” David bit his lip and fell silent. Sometimes he really wished Maddie wasn't that gorgeous – maybe that would make her a little happier.

“Hmmm...” Richie rubbed his chin. “And where do you think that comes from?”

David threw his hands in the air in exasperation. “How would I know? God knows I'm doing everything I can to make her feel sexy, loved and desired all the time.” He shrugged. “I think it's partly because she'd older than me, partly because of the whole superficiality of that damn modeling business. She's used to being judged by her looks and youth.” He shook his head. “She's worried about getting old all the time, but she seems fine with risking our chance for a second kid.” He waved his hands in the air. “Nooo, she’s not too old to wait for that!” he muttered sourly.

“But she must have given you a reason?” Richie assumed.

“Yeah, right,” David spat. “A fine reason. She's not ready for it.” His hands shot up, forming air quotes with his index and middle fingers.

Richie was still trying to put a sense to all of that and to get David to overcome his anger and try to see the problem from the outside. “She must be worrying about something then...”

David ruffled his hair and sighed, suddenly feeling drop dead tired. The fight with Maddie and the alcohol he had gulped down practically directly after breakfast were taking their toll. He felt empty. “I'm sure she does,” he replied in a hoarse voice, “she's always worrying about something. And I'm always trying to encourage her to see the bright side of things, the greater outcome – and not only count the flaws, obstacles and problems. Just go with the flow and let things happen. Be happy. And, Rich, let me tell ya – I'm getting sick and tired of it, and that's what's really worrying me right now.” David laid his head on the bar hopelessly.

“Come on!” Richie scolded him and punched his shoulder hard, making him yelp. “You don't really mean that!” he told his brother firmly – although he admitted to himself that he wasn't so sure about that right now. “I know it's not a picnic, but I also know it's worth the strain, and so do you.”

“I'm not sure about that,” David murmured as he picked his head up from the cool wood of the bar.

“But I am!” Richie thundered in his deep voice. “Fuck, Dave... I've seen you after things went downhill with Tess, and I've seen you after that brunette bitch dumped you.” He shot his long index finger at David like a bullet. “She almost broke you, but despite all that – I have never seen you be as affected emotionally as with Maddie, not in a good and not in a bad way. That woman is your life, just like Terri is mine, and you know damn well that you have no other fucking choice than to go on fighting for it!”

David raised his eyebrows. Nothing had changed about what had happened or about the situation with Maddie, but somehow Richie's speech had made him feel a little better; he had ignited the spark in him again. “You sound like a fucking football coach,” he told his brother dryly.

“Hey.” Richie raised both arms in a smug way. “That's how I got Terri through labor. You can thank me later.” He too had the feeling that David's demeanor had subtly changed, and that maybe he had given him a push in the right direction.

David shook his head, a little smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Asshole.” He elbowed him roughly. “Thanks.” He sighed deeply, “but I think I’m just gonna put my boxing gloves on the shelf for a day or two.” He showed off his arm muscles, “got to get myself in fighting shape.”

***
David had slammed the door on his way out of the house, successfully waking Jade who was now screaming in her crib after her long exhausted sleep. Maddie curled her hands into fists and let out a growl aimed at her errant husband, then she raced up the stairs to her protesting daughter. In a way, she was happy that her daughter was demanding her attention now, because it helped her to forget that awful scene with David at least for a bit. Her head was still whirling; she still had no clue how all this could have gone out of control so fast.

She had just calmed Jade down and was putting Cheerios and pieces of cheese on the tray of her highchair – even though she was angry and upset she loved to watch how Jade fed picked up her food and fed herself with her chubby fingers – when she heard the ringing of the phone.

Her first thought, her first absurd hope was that it was David calling to apologize but then she heard her mother's voice greeting her.

“Oh... mom, it's you.” She could barely hide her disappointment.

If Virginia had noticed anything, she didn't mention it. “I thought it would be nice if you guys would come over here for lunch... if you don't have other plans, that is.”

Oh please, no! was Maddie's first thought; a lunch under the probing eyes of her parents was the last thing she needed now: she would have to go alone, and even if maybe she could make up an excuse over the phone for David not being there – as soon as her parents, especially her mother, saw her they would know something was wrong. And they would ask questions. Unpleasant questions. And she wouldn't be able to give answers. On the other hand – she had no idea where David had gone, and at the moment she didn't even care; but staying home alone here locked up in the house that seemed so terribly empty without him, replaying their terrible fight over and over again in her head, pondering over what it meant for their relationship – that would drive her crazy.

“Maddie?” Virginia's calm voice came through the phone. “Are you still there?”

She pulled herself together. “Yes, mom, I'm sorry. Yes, that's a lovely thought. I would love to come over for lunch. It's just that...” she cleared her throat. “David isn't home,” she went on and tried to sound nonchalant about it. “He... he had to help out Richie at the bar. Kind of an emergency.”

“Oh. Okay.” Virginia hesitated only for the fraction of a second before she added brightly: “Well, then it'll be only the four of us, right? So, I see you and Jade at noon?”

“We'll be there,” Maddie assured, relieved that her mother hadn't commented at all on David's absence, and hung up.

As soon as she had put the receiver down, the phone rang again, and again David was the first name that shot through her head. Almost hesitantly, she picked up again – and, again, it wasn't his but Terri's voice this time greeting her happily.

“I just wanted to say thanks for a great party!” her sister-in-law told her brightly. “I think Nate and Richie had even more fun than on Nate's birthday...” she chuckled. “Although Richie would never admit that, of course.”

That goddamn party! Without noticing, Maddie's fist clenched around the receiver until her knuckles were almost white when Terri's words brought back the reason... no, the start for her fight with David. “Geez, do these knuckleheads always have to try to be better than the other?!” she snapped.

For a few moments, there was only silence, and Maddie mentally slapped her forehead for losing it, and especially with Terri. Stupid move. “Well, you're welcome, sister,” her friend replied sarcastically, not trying to hide her annoyance. Terri was one of the few people who never cared to accommodate Maddie's moods and temper fits, and she wasn't gonna take shit now. “I'll call you again when it's a better time.”

“No, Terri, wait!” Maddie called out quickly. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap,” she sighed.

Again, a few moments of silence before Terri answered dryly: “No, you never mean to.” She sighed too. “So, shoot. What's wrong?”

Maddie rubbed her front wearily and gave Jade who was watching her patiently another piece of cheese. “David and I had a fight.”

“Big surprise,” Terri muttered under her breath. Maddie pressed her lips together but said nothing, because Terri could hardly be blamed. “About the baby issue?”

“About the baby issue,” Maddie confirmed. “Well, actually, it started as a disagreement about the party bill...”

At the other end of the line, Terri rolled her eyes. Seriously now? she thought, but left that uncommented. “And then?” she prompted.

“Then I told David that I'm not sure if I was ready for another baby,” Maddie went on miserably, and then the fury welled up in her again and she blurted out: “And he called me old!”

“Are you sure those were his words?” Terri inquired bluntly.

“Well, I'm sure he said maybe we shouldn't have gotten married!” Maddie replied defiantly, and at the other end of the line Terri threw up her free hand in the air in exasperation. “Before he slammed out of the house, and I have no idea where he is,” she went on and added hopefully: “He's not at your place, is he?”

“No,” Terri answered, “but Richie is at the bar, and maybe he went there to rant.”

“He doesn't need to rant!” Maddie exclaimed in outrage. “He needs to apologize!”

Terri sighed. “Listen, Maddie... why don't you come over with Jade for lunch, or we can go out if you like, and you just tell me...”

“I can't,” Maddie interrupted apologetically, “my parents invited me over already. I just got off the phone with my mom.”

“Okay, that's fine,” Terri replied quickly. She was glad that Virginia would do the first aid this time, and maybe when she would get to see Maddie, things would have already calmed down. Terri knew that Maddie's mother was a down-to-earth person who looked sweet and indulgent on the surface but who had a strong opinion of her own – and usually a very reasonable one – and was never afraid to reveal it to her thick-headed daughter. “Why don't we meet for lunch tomorrow then?” she suggested.

“Yes, that would be great,” Maddie said after hesitating shortly. She guessed she could use all the advice she could get.

***
Maddie was a little nervous when she got to her parents' place, but Virginia and Alex just said what a pity it was that David hadn't been able to make it and didn't mention it any further. With relief, she thought she had avoided the pitfalls but when she brought the coffee to the table, Virginia asked almost casually: “Are you okay, Maddie? You look like something is bothering you.”

Maddie hadn't seen that coming, although she should have known better than to underestimate her mother's sixth sense. She almost choked on the water she was sipping. She sputtered: “What? No, I'm... I'm not... it's just...”

“Is something wrong with you and David?” Virginia specified, and Maddie sighed and closed her eyes in resignation. Leave it to her mother to hit the nail on the head – she never could hide anything fromVirginia Hayes. Alex was looking to and fro between his wife and his daughter, with a puzzled look on his face. His antennae for these things wasn't too fine-tuned, and he had just thought his daughter was maybe a little tired from the party.

“Well, we...” Maddie began, frantically looking for an excuse, but as usual, the piercing look her mother gave her, made her feel like a little schoolgirl who was about to be caught lying. She knew she couldn't deceive her mother, so she decided to tell her the truth... just as much as necessary, of course. “We had a little disagreement this morning,” she admitted, making it sound like it had been nothing at all.

“About?” Virginia prodded as she placed the coffee pot on the table and took her seat across from her daughter.

Maddie shrugged. “I found the bill for the birthday party, by accident. And it was exorbitantly high.”

“I thought David may have gone a bit overboard,” Alex piped up, and Maddie smiled, happy to have her father on her side. But then he added with a sheepish smile: “Although – when I think of what we had spent for some of your birthdays...”

“But surely that can't be the reason for a big fight?” Virginia probed.

“I didn't say it was a big fight!” Maddie flared up. “Why would you think it was a big fight?” Maddie was immediately on the defensive.

Virginia just raised her eyebrows, Alex frowned and Maddie threw her hands in the air in exasperation. “Alright, it wasn't just a little skirmish,” she said and thought oh, what the heck, she's gonna find out anyway...and so she went on: “Somehow, it turned into a huge argument about having another baby.”

“I thought you had already agreed about wanting another child?” Virginia inquired. A few months ago, in a happy moment, Maddie had told her mother about their plans for the near future; Virginia and Alex of course had been thrilled. How she regretted that now...

“I'm having second thoughts,” she murmured and looked down at her hands, avoiding both her parents' faces, knowing they wouldn't be happy.

“You don't want to have another baby?” Virginia asked; her voice was calm.

“No... yes...” Maddie sighed. “Honestly, I'm not that sure. I'm not ready yet. I want to wait a little longer.”

“Wait?!” Alex blurted out, and his wife threw him a warning glance. “But... you're 38, Madolyn, do you really think it's...”

Maddie's head whirled around, and she glared at her father. “Well, thanks, daddy for calling me old, just like David did!” Maddie knew that David hadn’t really called her old but she used it anyway.

“I didn't say anything like that, young lady, and I’m sure you misunderstood your husband also,” Alex replied with a firm voice. “I merely stated the fact that...”

“We know, we know, Alex,” Virginia interrupted and turned to her daughter again. “Why do you feel you're not ready, darling?” she asked.

Maddie sighed. “Oh, mom...” she shrugged again, finding it a little hard to explain. “Honestly, I'm not so sure I can pull it off with two babies,” she admitted. “I mean, I've just established somewhat of an everyday routine again, and everything seems perfectly well balanced,” she tried to explain. “Maybe I'm afraid any change could throw our life off balance? I've just gone back to work full time again, and I manage to keep all balls in the air, but I'm always juggling...” Without realizing, this was the first time she had tried to put her worries into words.

Ignoring his wife's warning glances, Alex said with a loud and clear voice: “Well, maybe, if you didn't work full time and keep your child in daycare all day, you wouldn't have to juggle that much.” He felt this needed to be said whether Maddie liked it or not. He hated the idea of his precious grandbaby in the care of strangers but his obstinate daugther would not hear of allowing him and Virginia to watch Jade at least part time which annoyed him a great deal.

Maddie's jaw dropped, and she shot blue lighting bolts in her father's direction. “Just what I needed, daddy,” she told him through gritted teeth. “Another man in my life calling me a bad mother.”

For a few seconds, her icy words hung in the air between the three of them, and nobody spoke. Then, slowly, Alex rose from his seat. “I never said anything of the sort, and you know it, Madolyn. Obviously, my opinion isn't welcome here.” And with that, he left the room in a huff.

“Daddy, wait!” Maddie jumped up from her chair, already regretting her words, but Virginia put her hand on her arm and held her back.

“Let him go,” she told her firmly, “he will be fine.” Slowly, Maddie sank back on her seat with a miserable expression on her face. “Did you tell David any of this?” Virginia asked softly.

Maddie shook her head. “I didn't have the chance. Things escalated before...” she shrugged helplessly.

Virginia sighed. She could imagine how the talk had gone between her ill-tempered daughter and her not less hot-headed son-in-law. She knew that usually they both contributed equally to the escalation of their fights, but this time she had to admit that in the case itself, Maddie was wrong – wrong for not telling her husband the truth about her feelings, and she had to do that sooner rather than later.

“As I see it, there's only one thing to do,” she said after a while, and Maddie's eyes grew wide in surprise, not believing that her mother had found a solution that quickly. Virginia saw the doubt in Maddie's stare and nodded firmly. “First of all, you have to make a decision for yourself – you, and you alone.” Maddie frowned, and Virginia went on: “You need to know if you want a second child – or if you don't.” Maddie was confused; her mother wasn't telling her anything she didn't already know. “But if you don't...” – she pointed her index finger at her daughter in an almost menacing gesture – “...you need to be honest with David and tell him the truth outright. He has a right to know.”

“But what if... what if...” Maddie desperately tried to get the words out, but they were too terrible; she fell silent. Virginia looked at her encouragingly, and she blurted out: “What if he leaves me?”

Virginia drew a deep breath. “Maddie, if you have a baby just to make your husband happy, but you yourself are not happy about it, then it will surely turn out badly. I'm pretty sure that his love for you is stronger than any desire to have another child. But he deserves your honesty.”

Maddie swayed her head. “Oh, mom... I don't know...” she didn't specify what it was she didn't know, but her confusion was obviously all-encompassing.

“And if you do want another baby,” Virginia went on firmly, “you can't afford it to wait any longer or you'll jeopardize your chances.” Maddie's eyes flew up to meet her mother's. “Maddie, your father is right. You may not want to hear it, and that's absolutely human, but you're not getting younger, and your chances of getting pregnant diminish every day.”

Maddie's shoulders slumped. “I know...” she murmured. “Oh, mom... what am I gonna do?”

“I can't tell you what to do, darling,” Virginia said, “you have to find the answer in your heart.”

Maddie sighed; this hadn't really helped much, but she was glad to have found at least some understanding from her mother. Her father though... she knew that he had been right too, at least partly. After an encouraging nod, she went over to his study and entered after a short knock.

Alex was sitting in his big leather armchair. Maddie went over to him and sat down on the armrest. She took his hand. “Daddy...”

He turned to her. “I know things are different nowadays,” he said seriously, “and I know I don't have the right to tell you how to live your life. But I also know that one day you'll look at your daughter and she will be a young woman, and you'll ask yourself: when the hell did that happen?” His stare was directed in a far distance, and Maddie knew that he wasn't talking about Jade anymore, but she knew what he meant, and suddenly it hit her like a ton of bricks that he was right – just as David was right about daycare. “I missed your first word,” Alex went on, “because I always worked too much. Your first step.” He shrugged. “All I know is that I'm happy your mother was always there to see for both of us.” He kissed her hand. “I just don't want you miss any of those precious moments, because you will regret it later.”

“I know,” Maddie replied in a thick voice. “I'm sorry, daddy.”

“I love you, baby. And I think you're a great mother.”

“Oh daddy... I love you too.”

***
David stayed around the bar for most of the afternoon helping Richie out with a few handyman tasks and getting the bar in order for that night. As David was about to leave, one of the bartenders called in sick, saying he wouldn’t be in for a couple of days leaving the bar in a bind since the other bartender who usually filled in was still out of town. Richie cursed, but as he knew how Maddie felt about David tending bar and didn’t want to cause any more trouble between the battling couple, he didn't ask for his brother’s help, so he was surprised when David volunteered to take over the shift.

Richie stared his brother down blue on green. “You’re not doing this to spite the Blonde, are you?” he inquired. Richie knew that David wasn’t usually spiteful, but he also knew his brother well enough to know that he was still so upset that the last place he wanted to be was home with Maddie; it would be a long time before David would be ready to work on resolving the conflict at home, even if he was willing to continue the fight for their happiness. But right now his instincts told him to avoid her, to avoid any more battles between them. One look in his defiant eyes was enough for Richie to recognize that.

David raised his eyebrows. “And what if I am?” he asked back. “I think a little spitefulness is in order. She can’t tell me what to do,” he told Richie pointedly, “she may think she’s the boss…” His voice trailed off.

“Do you really think doing this will be helpful?” his brother asked dryly.

“Rich, at the moment I don't really give a fuck about that,” David declared. “I'm done with always trying to accommodate her moods and wishes. She has to learn it can't always go her way. Besides, it’s only the evening shift. I won’t be out that late.”

Richie knew David wasn't gonna change his mind, and maybe he was even right; he put up his hands in a defensive pose. “Hey, as long as she doesn’t blame me.”

David punched Richie on the shoulder. “Why, you scared?”

Richie nodded his head vigorously, glad to get to a joking level again. For now, it was enough with ranting and accusations. “You bet!”

Both brothers laughed. “Her bark is worse than her bite,” David joked although he didn't feel like joking at all; after all that had happened his joke sounded shallow in his own ears. He waved at his brother as he walked toward the exit. “See you at 6.”

When David got home he was surprised to find the house empty. The thought that she had left him flittered through his mind for an instant, but he quickly tossed that thought aside.

“Maddie!” He cupped his hand over his mouth to call out to her, “Yo Blondie Blonde?” There was no answer. David walked through the house to the kitchen where he found a note taped to the refrigerator.

David:

My parents invited me and the baby to lunch. I should be back around 4.

Maddie

David held the note in his hand with one hand while he ruffled his hair with the other. Even though he was the one that had slammed out of the house that morning he was royally pissed that she wasn’t sitting at home waiting for him to return. After all, she was the one who had gone back on her word – she should have been here waiting for him to come home so that she could apologize! How dare she go out for a good time with her parents while he was sick to his stomach with worry and anger! David tossed the note aside then he raced up the stairs and donned his bartender outfit hoping to leave the house before his wife got home – he’d leave her a note; two could play the same game.

But as he strode down the stairs dressed in his tight worn denim jeans and a t-shirt that was molded to his body showing off his muscular arms and toned chest – he heard the front door open.

Maddie had Jade in her arms and the diaper bag and her purse were hanging from her shoulder. She put the baby on the floor as she looked up at her husband coming down the stairs. He looked so sexy and hot that she wanted to fling herself into his arms, but she was still angry and upset with his words from that morning. She shrugged off the bags and placed them on the floor as she tried to catch her husband’s eye but David barely looked at her as he bent down when Jade toddled toward him. He picked the baby up in his arms and swung her around causing the toddler to squeal with delight.

Maddie sighed inwardly realizing that this battle was long from over. She decided to try and make some peace with her stubborn man. “Do you want me to make you something to eat?” she offered. “Are you hungry?”

David shook his head as he put Jade back on the floor where she tangled herself around his leg. He smiled down at the little girl who was trying to get his attention again by yelling out: “Daddy! Daddy!”

“No thanks. I’m just leaving,” he replied curtly.

What the hell was this? “Leaving? Um didn’t you just get home?” She couldn’t keep the acid tone out of her voice.

David narrowed his eyes as he looked at her. “Um actually I’ve been home for a while.” His tone mimicked hers, “if you hadn’t gone out for a happy lunch with your parents and were home you’d know that.” David made the word lunch sound evil. “I’m filling it at the bar tonight and probably tomorrow.”

Maddie’s eyes turned into blue steel. “You’re what?”

“Getting deaf in your advanced age?” David threw at her, “I said I was going to Philly’s.” His voice was icy cold as were his eyes.

Maddie ignored his pointed barb. “You know how I feel about you bartending!” Maddie was livid. Why was he deliberately provoking her? She wanted to slap the smirk that was crawling up his face. Of course, her choice of words was just the right one to confirm David's determination to teach her a lesson about her expecting him to succumb to her wishes.

“Yeah well, too bad for you.” David bent down to kiss Jade then headed for the door. “So I'm going against your wishes, big deal. You know how I feel – felt – about having another kid,” he threw over his shoulder. “We can’t always get what we want, Maddie. It's about time you learn that.”

Maddie clenched her fists at her sides. “Fuck you, David!”

David’s answer was a resounding slam of the front door. Maddie stared at the closed door with hot tears of anger and misery running down her face. She did notice though that Jade didn’t even flinch at the loud bang of the door – unfortunately she was probably getting accustomed to the sound of slamming doors.

***
David was beyond tired as he pulled into the driveway. He killed the engine and just sat in the car for a few minutes trying to get his head on straight. He liked being at the bar when he felt disjointed and angry because the loud music, laughter, and smiles of the ladies he poured drinks for made him forget his problems – or at least shove them to the back of his head. Especially when the bar was busy, he had to concentrate on every move and keep his thoughts together and focused on the orders, the clients, the money. Despite what Maddie was thinking, tending bar was hard work and not fun.

But now that he was home all the feelings of disappointment, anger and hurt came bubbling back to the surface. Sighing deeply David ran both hands through his hair. Staying out in the car all night wasn’t an option, so David swallowed hard and headed toward the house. He prayed his wife was asleep because he wasn’t looking for another fight.

Maddie heard the car pull into the driveway but was confused as why it had taken David almost ten minutes to enter the house. She pretended to be absorbed in the nightly news when he trudged into the bedroom. Not knowing if she should greet her husband or ignore him made her feel sick to both her stomach and her heart. Swallowing her pride Maddie made a quick decision. She turned toward David who she could see was dead tired – his hair was a mess of angry spikes on his head, his face was covered with a day’s worth of a beard and his eyes were tired and bleary – her arms ached to hold him and strangle him simultaneously.

She pushed her thoughts aside as she watched him as he headed toward the shower pulling off his t-shirt without even a glance in her direction. “Hi,” she called out to him before he reached the bathroom.

David turned to her but his eyes didn’t meet hers. “Oh hi,” he replied, his voice not completely free of sarcasm. He nodded toward the bathroom. “Gonna take a shower.”

Maddie nodded not knowing what else to say. “Okay.”

A few minutes later David came out of the shower clad in his favorite sleep clothes – an old pair of sweats and a ripped t-shirt. He was drying his hair with a bright blue towel as he tried to avoid looking at his wife.

“Well, think I’m gonna head downstairs and catch the end of the game,” he told her without even looking her way. “Night.”

David couldn’t bear the thought of sharing a bed with Maddie without being able to hold her close, so he’d rather sleep on the couch. His heart felt heavy and sad, but he was still filled with frustration and resentment. Why were they always at each other’s throats? Why couldn’t his wife be a little less complicated and a little more willing to compromise? Sometimes he was afraid that all their fights and misunderstandings would one day destroy their marriage. He knew that their relationship was very different from most every other couple he knew, and he liked to imagine it was because their love was so much stronger, so much more passionate – and not just because they were two stubborn, volatile, people. But then he thought of the other people he knew – Maddie's parents, his father and Stephanie, Agnes and Bert and of course Richie and Terri; he knew damn well, that their love wasn't less strong or even less passionate than his and Maddie's... they just all seemed to handle the everyday challenges for their relationships so much better. He sighed deeply.

Being in love with his complex wife was hard, but the option of living his life without his thorny blonde was something he couldn’t even fathom. Despite everything Maddie was his life line, and being without her even for these short periods of time was slowly killing him – especially because he had no idea how this would turn out. He made up the sofa as his bed for the night and pulled the blankets over his head and prayed for slumber. His prayers weren’t answered.

Maddie’s heart felt as if it was being stabbed with sharp needles as she watched David leave their room. Didn’t he love her anymore? Was this the end of their marriage? Her misery was mixed with fury when she thought that he could be so bull headed and selfish to ruin their marriage and lives over the prospect of maybe not having another child.

She didn’t realize that most of David’s anger sprung from her going back on her word and believing her demands were really compromises. She had half a mind to stomp downstairs and tell David exactly how she felt, but she stopped herself. She knew that her husband’s mind was closed to anything she had to say at this point, and confronting him now would only lead to another huge fight. So, she just continued to stare mindlessly at the television as tears pooled in her eyes, wishing that things could be easy for them as they seemed to be for almost every other couple on earth.

Sometimes when they were at odds as they were now it really seemed to her that it hurt too much, tore too much – but living without David was something she could no longer imagine. He was her life. She was going to have to pull her big girls pants on and fight for it. Tomorrow. She put the pillow over her face to stifle her heart wrenching sobs.

***
When Maddie woke up that morning she found a note taped to her vanity mirror. She read it through red rimmed eyes.

M,

Left early with the Bean. Figured you’d be happy to have a morning to yourself to get ready and primp for your important day as a super business woman.

D

She was filled with a bitter fury as she dressed and headed toward Blue Moon.

That Monday, Maddie and David never spoke a word to one another. They communicated the entire day through notes, phone messages and third parties. Maddie was annoyed to find a note on her desk when she arrived at Blue Moon that morning.

M,

Out in the field all day. Dropped Beanie off at her jail – I mean daycare. Talk later.

D

And when she read the snide note, her fingers curled into claws wishing she could scratch out David’s damn cat eyes. She immediately marched through the outer office to David’s office to leave him a piece of her mind.

D,

You’re not funny. And I would appreciate if you don’t sneak out with our daughter like a thief in the night. You know damn well I enjoy being with Jade in the morning. You’re acting childish and immature.

M

She shook her head when she slammed the door to his office behind her. Communicate by notes? Really, how elementary school was that? About an hour later, Terri called between two of her classes and reminded her of their lunch at a cozy little bistro three blocks away from Blue Moon where they had met a few times. Maddie had almost forgotten their lunch date, but was happy now she had something to be looking forward to which would take her mind off her disagreement with David, at least for a bit.

Terri was already waiting for Maddie when she entered the restaurant. The women hugged, and Maddie sat down with a sigh.

Terri scrutinized her closely. "Oh... judging by the look on your face, you haven't resolved the matter yet, have you?" she asked emphatically. Maddie shook her head grimly. The curly brunette cleared her throat and decided to get to the matter right away. "So, you're having second thoughts about another baby? How come?" she wanted to know.

Maddie didn't take her question as an accusation, and it wasn't. She sighed. "Oh, I don't know...” she paused for a moment and shrugged in a helpless way. “It's just that everything is going so well right now, that I'm afraid our whole life will be thrown off balance..." She swallowed and admitted in a small voice: "And I'm afraid I won't be able to pull it off with two babies."

Terri nodded thoughtfully, chewing on her full lower lip. After a while, she asked the inevitable question: "Did you talk to David about your worries?"

"He won't listen to me," Maddie replied vaguely, "he's avoiding me."

Terri frowned. "Avoiding you? What do you mean?"

"He's out in the field with Bert today,” Maddie told her grimly, “and last night he was at Philly's, bartending. He will be there tonight too. Didn't Richie tell you?"

"I know he was there yesterday," Terri confirmed, "and Richie said he's as miserable as you."

Maddie looked at her friend with wide eyes. "He is?"

Terri rolled her eyes. "Of course he is! Do you think he enjoys being at odds with you?" She shook her head inwardly. Really, she loved both David and Maddie dearly, but they surely were a pair of knuckleheads: David had complained to his brother about Maddie calling him names, and Maddie complained that David was avoiding her. Both had been there, done that and should really know each other's coping mechanisms by now. Still, everything had to be a huge drama with them.

"Of course not," Maddie murmured and looked down, playing with the menu in her hands. "But when he slammed out of the house, he didn't look so miserable,” she went on with sarcasm in her voice. “He just looked mean and spiteful."

Despite her friend's obvious suffering, Terri had to suppress a grin. Her brother-in-law and sister-in-law were worse than teenagers sometimes. "And I'm sure you showed him your feelings in a very mature way," she commented dryly.

Maddie's eyes flew up to Terri's face again, and she had a very harsh reply on her lips, but bit it back. She knew she would get an equal reaction from her no-nonsense friend, and she didn't want to bicker with Terri – she wanted to get comfort and maybe advice. "What do you know?" she just asked a little sharply. Really, she asked herself in a moment of self-deceit, why did Terri assume she hadn't been mature?

Terri ignored her tone, leaned a little forward and put her hand on Maddie's arm. "I know nothing,” she replied. “But I'm sure you both went over the line in one way or the other during your argument. I'm also sure you're right when you say he's avoiding you." She shrugged. "I guess he just needs time.” Maddie opened her mouth to protest, but Terri went on firmly: “Just as you weren't ready to talk about your feelings earlier, now he isn't ready to listen. Maybe it's better to wait a few days until you both have cooled off a little before addressing the subject again."

Maddie sighed. "Maybe you're right. I know I should have talked to him earlier, I guess I was just..." she shrugged. "I was afraid that he wouldn't understand. I mean, it does sound selfish, right?"

"Wrong!" Terri contradicted, much to Maddie's surprise. "How is it selfish to say you're afraid of not being able to handle something?" She shook her head vigorously, making her black curls bob wildly. "Saying you don't want a second kid because you don't want to give up your career – that sounds selfish. David doesn't know about your worries, and from what you told him – or so I guess, as I don't know what exactly you told him – it has to sound indeed selfish to him. And that's why he's pissed, I think."

"You don't think I'm selfish?" Maddie ascertained.

"For worrying? Hell, no!" Terri confirmed. "Do you think I never worry?"

Maddie's mouth was hanging open. That was exactly what she had thought. Everything always had seemed so easy, so uncomplicated with Terri; and she surely was anything but a worrier. "You do?"

Terri chuckled. "Of course. I think it's in the human nature to be a little afraid of changes in general...” She shrugged. “I'm sure I'm going to miss my work sometimes, and I'm sure I will be exhausted sometimes, being at home with two kids. And of course, sometimes I ask myself if I can pull it off."

Maddie smiled with relief, feeling much better already. It meant a lot to her that outspoken Terri didn't think she was selfish; she had been worrying about that. "And then?" she asked.

Terri shrugged. "Then I tell myself 'stop worrying so much, it will be fine'."

If it only was that simple... "And if that doesn't work?" Maddie wanted to know.

Terri smiled fondly. "I talk to Richie, of course. He always manages to make me feel better." Maddie was about to roll her eyes, but then she noticed that there was no lewd undertone in her friend's voice.

"What does he tell you?" Maddie inquired curiously.

Terri lowered her voice as deep as she could and mimicked Richie's voice, pursing her lips into the Addison trademark half-smile while giving a perfect imitation of her husband's low voiced drawl: "Stop worrying so much, it will be fine."

Both women shared a laugh, and Maddie replied: "I know, I know. And then you make love."

"Nooooo," Terri contradicted and waved her hands in defense. "Then he tells me we're a great team, inside the labor room and outside."

Maddie sighed. "Aww, that's a great thing to say."

Terri leaned a little forward and grinned. "Then we make love."

Both blurted out laughing again, and after one day and a half of misery, hurt and anger it felt like heaven to Maddie. "You know," she said thoughtfully after a while, "usually, when David and I talk... I mean, when we really talk, it mostly goes like that too." She sighed again with painful longing in her voice. "If it just wasn't so hard to find the right words sometimes."

Terri felt compassion for her friend. She knew it wasn't that Maddie messed things up on purpose or because she was thoughtless or egoistic; neither did David. She was convinced that they both tried their best but their pride, stubborness and penchant for jumping to the wrong conclusions stood in their way most of the time when a misunderstanding arose.

"You will find those words," she told Maddie with utter conviction. "And David will listen. You're gonna resolve this."

"You think?" Maddie threw her a hopeful look.

"Methinks," Terri said firmly. Maddie grinned despite herself, and Terri added: "Oh, and by the way... methinks also that deep down you do want another baby." She winked. "But hey, what do I know?"

***
Maddie felt a little better after her lunch with Terri, but when she arrived back at the office she was annoyed when Jean, Agnes’ replacement, told her that her husband had said he would see her later at home he was going straight to Philly’s. Really, did he have to involve the staff in this ridiculous back and forth? She had no interest in rumors spreading throughout the office. She held back her anger and strolled into her office where she found a note on her desk.

M,

Guess Jean told you I’m going straight to the bar so I hope it’s not toooo much trouble to pick up Bean. Don’t forget her!

Mr. Childish and Immature

Really, was he trying to be funny or pick another fight? Maddie tried to suppress her irritation as she went about her day. Hopefully, David would be in a better, less snide mood when he came home later that night.

But when David came home and spent the night on the couch pretending to watch the game, her anger and hurt came back in full force. Obviously, according to Terri, he still wasn't ready to listen. And on Tuesday morning she was the one who was dressed and out of the house with Jade before David was out of the shower – talk about being childish and immature. She knew she had a huge life changing decision to make and she was cowardly avoiding having that talk with herself. Soon.

David was overcome with annoyance when he came downstairs to find his wife and child already gone – and another note.

D,

Have an early morning appointment and took Jade to daycare.

M

He ran his hand through his hair as he tossed the note in the trash disgustedly. He didn’t know how this was going to end, but he was beginning to get a sick feeling in his belly. Would the next note be: D, calling my lawyer, M?

He tiredly drove to Blue Moon, undecided if he should confront his wife – but that idea was taken out of his hands when he found yet another note on his desk informing him that she was meeting a prospective client for breakfast. Thanks for the invite, David thought to himself with a growing exasperation toward his wife. He immediately decided to see Jade before he started his day; he hadn’t seen her that morning and he felt the need to feel her soft cheek against his. Once he looked into his daughter’s face nothing seemed as dreadful and hopeless to him, and maybe he would be able to get through his day with some hope that things were going to work soon between him and her touchy mom.

***
When David arrived at the bar a few minutes before his shift would start, he bumped into his father in the staff room. Both men were surprised to see the respective other, and both blurted out simultaneously:

“What are you doing here? – Richie needed me.” Then they burst out laughing.

David slipped on his bartending clothes he had brought with him in a paper bag, while his father pulled on the cook's uniform and an apron he kept in a closet in the staff room.

“That party was awesome,” David Sr. remarked. “Your little sister was all exhausted when we got home.”

David's smile faded away when he was reminded of the party and everything that had followed. “Oh, the party,” he murmured. “Yeah, right.”

His father frowned at him. “Is anything wrong? You look upset.”

David's jaw was tense, and his fingers stopped unbuttoning his shirt. He supposed his father would grill him the whole evening if he didn't tell him anything, and probably Richie had already mentioned something anyway. He blew out his cheeks. “Me and Maddie had a fight.”

David Sr. meticulously tied his apron behind his back. “I'm sorry to hear that,” he told his son. “Is it anything serious?”

David shrugged. “Do you remember the other day when I told you about our plans for trying for another baby after Jade's birthday?” He drew a deep breath. “Well, she canceled them. Went back on her promise.”

The Senior was aghast. “She doesn't want another baby? But why?”

“Why?” David snorted. “Her reason is – and I quote – 'I already have two children, I don't need a third one'. Nice, huh?”

“Oh, come on!” his father scolded him. “You know she has a sharp tongue. Probably you did some of the childish stuff you and Richie love to do, and she was just angry. That doesn't mean...”

David froze in his move and stared into the older man's eyes. “Well, how about this: she said – and I quote again – 'I'm not ready'. And believe me, dad – she was referring to having a second child.”

“You need to talk,” the older Addison told him firmly. “There has to be a reason for her feelings.”

David turned away from his father in a brisk, annoyed move and continued undressing. “Yeah, it's always about her feelings,” he muttered under his breath. Richie had told him practically the same.

“No, it's not,” his father replied. “I understand your feelings, son. I think you have every right to be upset.”

Slowly, David turned around again, his gaze searching his father's. “You think?”

The Senior nodded. “And you know I feel about the full time daycare the same as I think you do.” He was happy that Stephanie was home with Hope.

David sighed. Although he was surprisingly relieved that his father seemed to be on his side, it didn't really help in his conflict with his stubborn wife. “Thanks, dad,” he murmured.

“Still, you need to rethink your priorities,” the Senior added.

David was aghast. “I need to rethink my priorities??” he echoed in disbelief, a sharp edge to his voice. “Dad, I don't think you understood what I was...”

“I understood,” his father interrupted firmly, “and I'm on your side.” David frowned in utter confusion; he didn't understand anything at all. “But let me tell you one thing,” the older Addison went on, and something in his serious voice made David look at him closely. “You may be right as much as you want, but there is nothing as bad and painful as losing the woman you love.” He nodded gravely, his eyes shadowed for a moment by a hurt from another life that still seemed to haunt him in some moments, even if he had found happiness again with his young wife and baby daughter.

David watched his father leave the staff room and stood there motionless for a full minute. Was it that question it all came down to? Was his desire for another baby stronger than his love for Maddie? What would cause more pain – living with only one child instead of two or living without his wife, if the disagreement about this issue escalated enough to destroy their marriage? And suddenly, he knew – if that really was the question, then there was no question. Priorities, he thought.

***
Maddie was up waiting for David when he came home from the bar, but when she heard his footsteps on the stairs she pretended to be engrossed in an old black and white movie on TV. He stepped into the room slowly and their eyes met when he walked in. Maddie felt her heart drop because she didn’t know how to act around him; it seemed everything she said led to some snide remark and she was too weary and sick at heart to listen to any more of his barbs or see the icy cold looks he threw her way. She looked away first.

“Hi. How was work?” she asked as her eyes turned to the television to hide the hurt in her eyes; therefore she didn't see the hurt and confusion in his.

David hated the way Maddie turned away from him, obviously just to punish him; he knew she really wasn’t interested in what was playing on the TV screen. Mentally he shook his head, but despite his irritation with his high maintenance wife David couldn’t help the pull of his heart strings when he looked at Maddie. Sitting there with her hair a tousled mess, no makeup on her face and wearing a cotton sleep shirt she was still drop dead gorgeous to him. One part of him wanted to push her down on the bed and make sweet love to her while the other parts had mixed feelings – anger, hurt disappointment and regret seemed to be at the top of the list. The talk with his father had opened his eyes to a certain extent – of course losing Maddie was not an option, had never been an option. But still, the breaking of her promise was nagging at his soul. And he also knew that he wasn't willing to continue their relationship like it had been before – always succumbing to her wishes in the end, making compromises that really weren’t compromises and just basically resembled what she had wanted in the first place. All those things had to be talked through, and that would be a bitter pill for her to swallow – not getting her way was something his Princess Bride surely wasn’t used to. But not yet, he thought. He didn't feel strong enough yet to get through such a talk. Soon.

So, for now, he swallowed his feelings, “fine, it was fine.” he told her mechanically. He saw Maddie nod.

“Fine,” she muttered, not looking at him.

“I’m gonna take a shower.” David began to undress as he strode purposely to the bathroom. Another nod from his wife. David closed the door with an agitated bang.

When David came out of the bathroom he climbed in bed next to Maddie who was lying very still so far on her side of the bed that she was almost on the edge of the mattress. David swallowed a bitter remark and imitated his wife as he lay as far away from her as possible. Sleep was a restless affair once again at that Addison household.

***
Wednesday was a dreary rainy day and matched the mood of David and Maddie. Maddie was giving Jade a sippy cup of milk and a bowl of mashed bananas when David came into the room. He couldn’t help crack a smile at Maddie who was covered in a full length apron as she tried to feed her daughter. Jade, who was wearing a full length bib, the toddler was already insisting that she feed herself, but of course she got most of the food all over herself and on whoever held the other spoon aimed at her mouth.

When Jade saw David a huge smile covered her chubby face. “Daddy, daddy!” she squealed. David bent down to kiss the baby who at that moment aimed the spoon at his face. The spoon of mashed bananas hit his chin and dribbled down to his shirt and tie. David laughed as Maddie handed him a washcloth to wash away the mess. “No, Beanie!” David chided his daughter, “this is your breakfast.” He sat on the chair next to Jade’s highchair as he took the spoon from Maddie and successfully was able to feed his daughter most of her breakfast – much to Maddie’s chagrin.

She placed a plate of toast and a cup of coffee on the table in front of David. “I don’t understand why she lets you feed her, but she battles me every step of the way.” Maddie admitted to David unhappily.

David chuckled as he opened a jar of baby apple sauce and began to spoon it into Jade’s open mouth. “You know I got the moves, Maddie. No female is immune to my charms.” He smiled at the toddler. “Not even Beanie girl.”

Maddie snorted although she knew better – all she had to do was to think of the adoration she had always felt for her own father ever since she had been a little girl. But somehow the atmosphere between them seemed lighter today, so she felt a little banter might flow naturally and maybe somehow contribute to taking them back to some kind of normality.

“Dream on, Addison.” She pointed from the baby to herself. “I guess the mother daughter battles have begun early.” She shrugged and couldn’t help a small grin as she watched the interaction between her husband and daughter. “But I have to admit she is daddy’s girl.”

David nodded as he finished feeding Jade. Maddie put some cheerios on her tray to keep her busy as she sat down to drink her coffee. She had been wondering if David would remind her about the bowling party tonight. The bowling team had planned to have their wives and children join them occasionally on Wednesday nights. It was Family Night, and the bowling alley was going to have games and face painting and hot dogs and hamburgers especially for the kids to enjoy.

Maddie had been looking forward to bringing Jade and sitting with the other wives. Although they didn’t get together very often, Maddie had taken a liking to these down to earth women that loved David like a brother. Now she wasn’t so sure she wanted to go, but she was more worried that David wouldn’t want to take her. She sighed inwardly and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear.

David sipped his coffee as he watched Maddie from underneath his long lashes. He hated feeling disconnected from his wife. Once again he asked himself why things had to be so difficult between them. If it wasn’t one thing, then it was another. He knew they were still crazy in love, but was it enough? Was Maddie’s reluctance to compromise and bull headed determination to do just as she pleased eventually going to ruin what was the best thing that had ever happened to either one of them? Hold the phone, he told himself, enough of this negative bullshit. You sound like her. He recalled his determination from last night to clear things up – and soon. Maybe even tonight. Waiting wouldn't make it any easier.

He looked at Maddie tucking her hair behind her ear, and suddenly had the urge to shake some sense into that thick honey blonde noggin, but of course he didn’t. Instead he spoke to her carefully, trying to smother any snide or angry tone out of his voice. “So…” he drawled as he took a bite of toast.

“So?”

“Remember tonight is Family Night at the bowling alley,” David told her.

Maddie nodded, calm on the outside but happy inside that he did want her there. “Yes, of course. I’m looking forward to it.”

David nodded. “Good.” He was happy she wanted to go; he had been nervous that she would say she wasn’t going to the party. Maybe that was a good omen.

And that was that. They drove to work together barely speaking and only talking about Jade when they did open their mouths. Things were still tense, and neither knew what to do to break the strain between them – even if both were determined to do exactly that before the night was over.

***
That night David and Maddie talked trivial things on the way to the bowling alley – the agency, Philly’s, Jade’s new tooth – but even though the conversation still felt strange both were happy that at least they were talking to one another and not bickering or snapping each other’s head off.

David held Jade in his arms as the couple walked into the bowling alley together. They were immediately surrounded by friends, and David was pulled into the alley to bowl with the boys after handing Jade to Maddie. She was led to a large party room in the back of the bowling alley where all the women and kids were already gathered. There was a glass wall on one side of the room to allow the party goers to watch the bowlers. Maddie put Jade down and watched her toddle over to LB who was bouncing up and down in his exersaucer. She smiled and sat next to Agnes who had made fast friends with the other women the few times they had met – nobody really remembered how it had happened, but one day the bowling team had needed a replacement bowler, and Agnes had mentioned by coincidence that Bert happened to be a fantastic bowler. David had been skeptical about that and had taken it as Agnes' loving-wife-exaggeration, but after Bert had played with the team once they all knew they had found their master and bowling god and gladly and solemnly welcomed Herbert Quentin Viola onto the team. He had been thrilled and flattered, of course – and since that day Bert and Agnes were part of the bowling buddies.

Everyone greeted Maddie and exclaimed how much they had enjoyed Jade‘s birthday party. Maddie kept her mouth shut on how that party had led to a falling out between her and David; no one else needed to be privy to their troubles, although she knew that once Agnes saw them together she would of course smell out their woes.

The women made small talk as they monitored the children and sipped coffee and soda. Maddie glanced through the glass wall to catch a glimpse of David. She watched him as he laughed and talked with his friends and wished that those crooked grins were aimed her way. For a second her heart felt heavy but then she remembered her promise to talk things out with David and she felt the stone lifted off her heart. She vowed that before this night was through she would lay all her cards on the table. She knew he would understand her. He just had to!

Soon the talk between the women turned to babies and their children as it usually did. One of the women, Ella, stood up with her hand covering her belly and giggled. “I don’t know if anyone can tell yet but I’ve got another bun in the oven.“ The other women began to congratulate her happily.

Linda jumped up and hugged Ella tightly. “Oh I’m so happy for you! What changed your mind? I thought Billy was going to be your only child?“

Ella threw her head back and laughed. “Well, it seems God had another plan.” She hugged her arms around her midsection. “But I have to say I couldn’t be happier and neither can Bill!”

Delores chimed in. “Yep, always nice to have siblings is what I say. Good for you guys!”

Suddenly, Maddie thought about what Delores had just said. Hadn’t she always missed having a brother or a sister growing up? And even now as a grown woman she still sometimes wished she had a sibling. She always felt a little twinge of envy when David and his brother seemed to share a secret bond; she had learned over the last year that despite their problems and complicated relationship, David and Richie really loved each other and always had had each other's back. She would never know how it felt to have such a deep connection to another person – even the best and closest of friends couldn't replace that bond.

And listening to Ella admit how happy she and her husband now were despite their initial misgivings about having another child made Maddie realize that she needed to get her priorities in order. Of course she knew that most of these women stayed home to care for their children, but would cutting down her hours to maybe a couple of days a week or less hours a day be so bad? And maybe she could take up David’s idea and work from home too? After what seemed like weeks Maddie felt as if a huge weight was lifted off of her shoulders. And when she turned and saw Jade giggling and interacting with LB and the other children she realized that she wanted another child – Jade would have that brother or sister she had always missed. Terri had been right – deep down she had wanted it all the time; it had just been her stupid worries, like so many times, that had stood in her way. Oh, she still was worried that it wouldn't be that easy, but she knew that David would encourage her and that she would be able to handle anything if they worked together like a team. She couldn’t wait to tell David!

But on the other side of the bowling alley David felt as if someone had punched him in the gut when he heard Bill bragging about knocking up his wife again. He admitted the pregnancy had come as a shock, but now they were thrilled with the idea. David plastered a smile to his face and shared in the congratulations but inside he was miserable. He knew that most of his buddies‘ wives stayed at home with their children and didn’t understand why Maddie was so hell bent on working – and that her life as a career woman seemed to be more important and fulfilling to her than her life as a wife and mother. He could accept not having another baby, but he was finding it impossible to accept the reason why his wife didn’t want another baby was due to her damn career. To David that was just selfish – and that shocked him, because despite of Maddie's sometimes self-centered and haughty demeanor he knew that she had a golden heart and wasn't a selfish person at all. He tried to push these thoughts aside and enjoy the party as the men finished their bowling game and headed to the party room to join their families.

Bert saw a cloud come over David’s face and quickly approached his friend as they walked toward the party room. “Everything okay, David?“ Bert inquired softly.

David nodded and flung his arm over Bert’s shoulder. “Everything is fine and dandy, Bertie-boy. You outdid yourself again tonight, champ.” Bert puffed his chest out a little at David's praise and forgot to inquire any further. David added smoothly: “Just needing some food and drink and I’ll be A-okay.“ It was a lie, of course. But for the moment, Bert was satisfied.

David wished the party was over, because he was going to find it difficult to hide his resentment and play the good husband around his friends, but he didn’t want anyone knowing that there was trouble in his marriage. So he figured he would avoid Maddie as much as possible and play with the children – which was something he usually did anyway. They all lover their “uncle Dave”, including LB.

Maddie smiled in David’s direction but was dismayed to see his glance at her with icy green eyes. What was his problem now? She had been so relieved that they had seemed to be at least civilized with each other, and now that mean stare again? She was confused and hurt. Her back went up in defense as he approached with his plate laden with food. He sat next to her and began to shovel food in his mouth. “Did you eat?” he asked her between bites, trying to make conversation.

Maddie nodded as she sipped a cup of coffee wondering if maybe she had imagined the cold look in David’s eyes. She inwardly sighed. The rest of the night she barely saw her husband who had surrounded himself with the children. He suggested that the men watch the children while the women bowled a game. That idea was met with applauds from the women as they all headed to the alley for a half hour or so of peace and quiet.

Finally if was time to go home. David put a sleeping Jade into her carseat as Maddie slid into the passenger seat. When David got into the car Maddie tried to engage him in conversation, but he just cut her off. He had no idea that Maddie was about to tell him she had made her decision and wanted another child. Unfortunately, his irritation and annoyance made him snap at Maddie who buttoned her lip until they got home and put Jade to bed.

“What is your problem now, Addison?” Maddie asked following him down the stairs close on his heels.

David turned around to face Maddie when they reached the bottom of the stairs. “Go to bed, Maddie. I’m tired.” He told her with ice coating his voice.

David made a move to pass Maddie but she grabbed his by his arm as he tried to walk away. “I’m tired too, David! Tired of living like strangers! Why are you so damn angry at me?”

David looked down at her hand holding his arm as if his limb was held in the jaws of some disgusting animal; then they traveled slowly up to Maddie’s face. “Gee, I have no clue why I’m so angry.“ He pulled his arm out of her grip and made the pretense of scratching his head in consternation.

“If you’re so angry at me because I’m not sure if I want another child then we don’t have much of a marriage!” she snapped.

David looked at her disgustedly. “Um no, it's not that you don't want another child – it’s why you don’t want one.”

Maddie was confused. “What does that mean?” She put her hands on her hips and glared at David who was staring at her with green glaciers.

He shook his head in resignation, all his earlier anger gone and faded into sadness. If she hadn't understood by now... “Look,” he sighed wearily, “I know I can't force you to have another baby if you don't want to, if you think that one is enough. But if the reason is that you simply find it inconvenient for your career, your ambition... that's just plain selfish in my eyes.”

Maddie felt tears welling up in her eyes. Terri had been right again! But then – how could David think that low of her? He should know she wasn't a selfish person, shouldn't he? She clenched her hands to fists at her sides. “I'm not selfish!” she snapped in a shrill voice. “It's not about my ambition!”

“Oh really?” he snarled. “Then about what? You said you wanted to wait, what for?” His left index finger shot at her like a bullet. “And when we talked about you working part time you said you couldn't because the agency needs you to do the books!” He snorted. “Go on and tell me again this isn't about your ambition. You just love the thought that you're indispensable!”

“It's not that, you dumbass!” she yelled. “I hate the thought I could be a failure at home!”

For a moment, neither of them spoke, and they both were staring at each other with all their hurt, fear and confusion on their faces. It took David a few seconds until the meaning of what Maddie had just said sank in, and at first he thought his ears had deceived him. He studied her face and blinked in confusion. “What?”

“And I never said I don't want another baby!” she went on. “I do want one!”

David's jaw dropped. “What?!” he repeated with more emphasis.

Oh great. Again, this hadn't gone like she had intended to – calm, reasonable, conciliatory. Well, she would just have to go with the flow. She drew a deep breath. “I want another baby,” she said calmly now.

David crossed his arms and tilted his head. “You gotta be kidding me,” he replied with acid sarcasm in his voice. Was she making fun of him now?

Maddie threw her hands up in exasperation. “Oh, what the hell do you want from me, Addison?!” she raged. “I say I want to wait, and you're mad at me. I say I do want a baby, and you're mad at me too!”

“I want you to want a baby because you want it!” David barked.

“I said I do!” Maddie stomped her foot.

David snorted in disdain. “And you expect me to do a happy dance? How do I know you won't change your mind tomorrow?”

“Really, you make it sound like I'm the most inconsistent person in the world!” she snapped. David just raised his eyebrows at her, and she sighed in exasperation. “Okay,” she admitted, “I get it.” She drew a deep breath. “You should know that I never really changed my mind.”

David closed his eyes for a moment. Although he had the feeling that they were heading towards a resolution and that things weren't actually as black as they had seemed only half an hour ago, but he somehow still had no clue what Maddie was talking about. She thought she could be a failure at home? But she wanted another baby? And although she had went from let's make a baby over let's wait to I want a baby, she claimed she had never changed her mind? Damn that woman, she would be the death of him. He ruffled his hair. “Care to explain?” he asked ironically, but without a sharp edge to his voice.

Maddie folded her arms, almost wrapped them around her torso as if she wanted to warm herself. Too cold had the past days been. “When I told you I wanted a baby months ago,” she began, “when I said let's try for another one when Jade is older – I really meant it. I felt it, and that's why I agreed to it.” She nodded in confirmation. “I didn't make a list of pros and cons, it was just spontaneous.” For a moment, she was afraid he would make fun of her or pour his sarcasm on her, and she looked away. So, she didn't see how soft David's face turned when he heard her words.

“Then what happened?” he asked calmly.

She sighed in frustration. “Well, what do you think?” she asked back bitterly. “Of course, my worries kicked in.”

“Your worries...” he echoed slowly and sighed. “About what? Work? Your figure?”

Maddie shook her head. “About not being able to pull it off,” she admitted in a small voice. She hated nothing more than admitting to any weakness – maybe that was the reason why it always was so hard for her to tell David about her worries.

David frowned, his face a clueless mask. “To pull what off?” he inquired.

“Everything!” Maddie blurted out. “Two children. Being a good mother.” She shrugged. “Still be a lover, a wife. Not lose touch with the agency. Not go crazy.”

David's mouth was hanging open in disbelief. “You gotta be kidding me, right?” He shook his head. “Blondie, if anyone can pull it off it's you!”

She swallowed a lump in her throat. “You think?” she asked.

“I know!” he confirmed and, touching her for the first time in a long time, grabbed her shoulders, slightly shaking her as if to wake her up from her dizziness. “Because you are the strongest person I know!” In a hoarse voice, he added: “And you're also a great mother.”

She looked up at him with suspicious eyes. “You really mean that?” she inquired, and suddenly David felt guilty.

“Yes, I really mean that,” he told her firmly and drew a deep breath. “Look, I'm still not happy about the Bean being in daycare all day, but I know that doesn't make you a bad mother, and I'm sorry if I made it sound like you were.” He shook his head. “I know damn well there are women who don't work, sit around at home on their ass all day and aren't worth shit as moms, compared to you.”

Maddie drew a deep relieved breath and felt all the tension and unhappiness of the last few days crumble to pieces inside of her. “I want to cut down my working hours,” she said.

David raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Babe, if you're saying this just to please me, it won't work. If you're not happy...”

“No, I really want it,” she assured. “You were right about all the things I could miss. And I don't want to look at our teenage daughter one day and ask myself: when the hell did that happen?” Without noticing, she quoted her father's words.

“Are you sure?” David asked in a hoarse voice, raw with emotions: happiness, relief, eager anticipation – they would try for another baby! – and, above all, an overwhelming love for his damn beautiful, stubborn, sometimes so insightful wife.

Maddie nodded, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “Yes, I'm sure, David. We'll make a real, true compromise.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, suddenly desperately longing to kiss him. “I'm sorry if I always insist on my way.” She smiled tentatively. “You'll just have to put up more resistance.”

David smiled his half-smile, and it hit her in the stomach how much she had missed it. “That can be arranged,” he told her. Then he added: “I’m sorry too, baby, if I was too hard on you.”

Maddie tilted her head to one side with a sultry smirk, “The problem is that in the last few days you haven’t been hard on me at all.” She needed to feel David’s arms around her. She had gone much too long without touching and being touched by her sexy husband.

A crooked grin ran up the side of David’s face. “Now what do you have in mind, my wanton witch?” he asked, letting his hands slowly crawl from her shoulders down to her waist.

Maddie threw him a sexy grin; her blue eyes were dark with need, “I’m sure you can come up with a thing or two.”

With a quick move that made her gasp in surprise, David pushed her against the wall, trapping her there between his muscular arms. “Oh, I think something has already risen and the coming part will be very soon.”

Maddie's heart beat faster, and she felt her desire pooling between her legs like hot liquid lead. “Ya think?”

“I know.” David pressed her against the wall with his body, grinding his massive boner into her loins as his mouth devoured hers with deep passionate kisses.

“Oh David... I missed you,” Maddie growled as her hands unzipped his tight jeans moving them down his legs til they were just past his hard ass.

“And you missed this.” David pushed his boner into her harder, making her moan in passion. He chuckled lewdly as he began to rain baby kisses over her neck and shoulders. Slowly, he peeled off Maddie’s clothes one by one until she was naked and squirming against the wall.

“Not fair, Addison,” she panted taking the hem of his t shirt and pulling it over his head until her throbbing breasts were against his hot skin, the sensation of his chest hair tickling her hard nipples almost unbearably irresistible. “Oh, that’s better...” she moaned, running her hands over his muscular chest and arms. She brought her hot lips on the side of his neck where his jugular vein throbbed madly and whispered into his ear with a hint of urgency in her voice: “Fuck me, David.”

“Oh, I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’re not gonna be able to walk for a week,” David groaned as he plunged his hard dick deep inside her, causing her to cry out in ecstasy. He lifted her from the ground with ease and pulled her legs around his waist as he pushed into her over and over with hard penetrating thrusts. “Ya like that, huh?” he asked Maddie as his hands ran all over her legs and ass. “Oh, you are so hot, baby.”

“Oh God, yes!” she cried out. Maddie felt as if her body was a fiery inferno, her passion rising to new heights. She began to come in wave after wave of pleasure as David plunged in and out of her over and over again, pressing her hard against the wall until he almost felt suffocated by his hardness. She began to call out his name as her orgasm washed over her body, but it only fueled her desire for more. Their separation had been too long.

David felt Maddie’s first orgasm pulse around him, and it almost pushed him over the edge. It had been too long since he had made love to his wife, and he was near his brink, but being as experienced as he was in the ways of making love David held back his climax. He put his arms around Maddie’s waist and moved her across the kitchen as he kicked off his pants on the way.

Maddie felt the cool wood of the kitchen table on her lower back as David pushed her down – she was half on and half off the table with her legs spread and still joined with David. She immediately brought her legs up to envelope the back of his legs as he continued to screw her hard against the table. Her head started to spin, and her blood rushed in her ears in the fast and steady rhythm of his thrusts.

At one point as she reached orgasm again Maddie was afraid that they would actually break the table and wind up on the floor, but that thought didn’t stop her body from bucking from another mind blowing climax. “David, David, David!” Her voice rang out reverberating around the large kitchen, almost echoing off the walls. “Fuck me! Harder... harder!” she cried, and he gladly succumbed to that wish of hers and increased his pace. “Oh yeah, like that!” she gasped. “I love your big dick.” Her nails were clawing at his back, leaving long red scratches in their wake.

“Yeah, you like that!” he groaned in response to the pain. “Oh, I do too. Ah you love how I fuck you, don't you!” David moaned as he looked down into Maddie’s face which was filled with passion when she came again. He lunged his tongue into her mouth as he felt the beginnings of his orgasm move over his lower back and down to his dick. With one loud shout of “Maddie!” and one deep push of his cock David rocketed out of control into a soul bending climax that almost made him black out.

They lay entangled on the table – her arms and legs wrapped around him, his head nestled in the curve of her neck – until their brains and bodies rebooted. David was the first to move. He lifted his head to look down into his wife’s satisfied eyes. “I love you, Maddie,” he told her earnestly. “Let’s not fight anymore. It makes me crazy.”

Maddie laughed ironically. “Makes me crazy too, and I know we’re never going to stop fighting, but we have to make a pact…”

David laughed as he pulled Maddie off the table and against his body. “Damn, woman, when are you going to learn that you and I can’t keep no pacts?” He ran his hands over her body. “Except the one to fuck you in each and every room of this house over and over again.”

Maddie looked up at David and ran her hands through his tousled just fucked hair. “Oh, now I love that pact, big boy.”

“Me too.” David lifted Maddie in his strong arms – despite her squeals of “put me down David. You’re gonna drop me.” – and carried her up the stairs to their bedroom. He dropped her unceremoniously on the bed and looked down at her with a smirk – his green eyes smoldering with lust and love. He stroked his cock which was once again rock hard. “This big boy only cares about one thing, baby. And that’s pleasuring his woman.”

Maddie sat up and pulled David to her with her hands around his ass so that he was standing beside the bed. She slid from the mattress in one single elegant move, fell to her knees and began to stroke and lick David’s massive boner. He tangled his fingers though her wild mane of hair. “Oh God, yes... I love that,” he moaned. “Suck it honey. It feels soooo great.”

Maddie licked and stroked David’s cock until he was almost whimpering with desire. She then took the whole thing in her mouth and began to move her mouth back and forth on his thick shaft as her tongue danced a melody over its head. David’s hips were bucking out of control and with one long moan he came so hard in to the back of her mouth that he felt as if his head had blown off. David collapsed on the bed pulling Maddie on top of him.

“God, woman, you’re gonna give me a stroke,” he told her as his hands once again ran over her body until she was writhing on top of him.

“I love you, David, so much,” she told him with fervor as she covered his face with soft, loving kisses until she reached his mouth which she proceeded to make love to with her lips and tongue.

David never had enjoyed kissing that much until he had kissed Maddie. For him, it had always just been a prelude to the big show, but he felt as if he could drown in his wife’s sensuous kisses. “I love you too, honey,” he purred. “More than you can ever imagine.”

He quickly turned over, pinning Maddie underneath him and pressing her into the mattress. “You are so beautiful and so hot, and you’re all mine,” he whispered, his voice thick as melted caramel mixed with chocolate. His fingers disappeared between her legs and began to draw small circles over her nub until Maddie was moaning and gasping with pleasure.

“Mmmh... how much do you love this?” David purred as his fingers brushed over her hotbox like a feather.

“Oh God, I love it!” Maddie moaned as she convulsed into another earth shattering orgasm. She opened her eyes a few seconds later to find David’s emeralds eyes gazing at her with love and hunger.

“And you love this even more, baby,” David purred louder as he spread her legs wider with his knees then moved his rock hard member between her legs. He used his dick as a paint brush lightly brushing over Maddie’s aching core. “Tell me how much you love it,” he demanded in that bossy voice that always turned her insides to mush.

“Oh David, I love it soo much. Please... please make love to me,” she begged, and the devotion in her voice was music to his ears. “I want you inside of me.”

David nodded as he pushed his dick into her sodden core. He watched her face as he entered her and was overjoyed to see pure bliss cover her beautiful features as he began to make love to her – achingly slowly. He covered her body with his as he made love to her mouth with his tongue and lips; brushing her tongue with his, licking her gums as she tried to catch his tongue with her lips. He then began to slowly lick her lips and kiss her softly from one side of her mouth to the other while his hands were playing leisurely all over her body. Maddie was gasping and wriggling underneath David as she moaned his name and began to come again and again until she was breathless.

“Come in me now, David,” she begged; her hands were softly petting the scratches she had inflicted on his back earlier. Sometimes she couldn’t believe how wild and wanton she was in bed with David, but she loved it now. She couldn’t live without his lovemaking, and she didn't want to.

Soon, David began to come inside of her moaning her name as his climax raced over his body; when the waves of pleasure subsided he collapsed on top of Maddie sated and deliriously happy.

“God, I adore you,” he told her when he regained his voice.

Maddie was lying underneath him, sated and also joyful. Her fingers were playing with his damp hair as she whispered her devotion into his ear. They finally fell asleep entwined in each other’s arms and murmuring words of love to each other. Just how it was meant to be.

The next morning, when the alarm clock rang both opened their eyes simultaneously, and even though they had slept very little, maybe only little more than four hours, they felt refreshed and filled with new strength and energy like after a long, good night's sleep.

“Hey, Blondie,” David purred, his voice still thick with sleep. “Slept okay?”

“Hmmm,” she just answered and stretched her limbs, enjoying the well-known sore feeling of a night full of passion in every muscle of her body. She savored the feeling a little longer, then with a sigh she threw back the sheets, knowing that Jade would wake up soon too. Before she get up from the bed she turned to look at David who was lying on his back with his hands behind his head, looking totally relaxed and watching her with a smirk covering his face, obviously enjoying what he saw.

He frowned at the thoughtful look on her face. “What's up?” he wanted to know.

“I'm just thinking...” Maddie murmured, her gaze drifting off, “quite a big decision we've made.” She swallowed. “Kinda scary.”

“Scary?” David echoed, and Maddie focused on his face when she heard the sharp edge to his voice. He sat up. “Don't tell me you're having second thoughts again?” he growled.

“Second thoughts?” Maddie gasped in surprise. “I'm not having second thoughts!” Suddenly she smiled, jumped out of bed and took his hand, pulling him to his feet. “I'm gonna show you!” she exclaimed. “Come on!”

“Whoa, what is it now?” David almost stumbled over his feet, so quickly she pulled him with her while she headed for the bathroom. He was confused.

In the bathroom, Maddie opened the medicine cabinet behind the wall to wall mirror over the sink and pulled out a little round plastic box filled with small pink and white pills. He recognized at once that these were her birth control, which he thought of as anti-baby pills, and his heart beat faster. What was she doing now? Quickly, she took his big hand and turned the palm up; then she shook all the little pink and white pills from the box into his hand, one by one, until the container was empty. She closed his fingers with a smile and led him over to the toilet, making an encouraging move with her head.

David looked at her questioningly, and she nodded. “Do it,” she told him firmly. “Let's not waste one more single day.”

Slowly, a crooked grin spread all over his scruffy face, and he opened his hand and let the little pink and white pills fall in the toilet. Maddie pulled the small lever and flushed them down the bowl. Then she looked at him with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Let's make a baby,” she whispered.